My daughter drove to the top of a volcano last night, 13,802 feet above sea level. She needed to use a ladder to get in and out of the dodge Ram she was lent for the excursion to Mauna Kea. Though I had nothing to do with this trip – I did teach her to drive in 11th grade. (pic she sent my husband on the side).
She’d been on a the road a few times when I asked her if she’d like to drive home from Crown Heights. “I don’t know how to switch lanes,” she said clearly stating her boundaries. “That’s ok,” I smiled adventurously, “we’ll switch drivers before the Jackie Robinson Parkway.”
The entrance to the parkway came and there was no place to pull over. “Just go straight through the light,” I coached her. “Ok, but I told you I don’t know how to switch lanes,” she said knowingly. I suppose it was like throwing someone into the ocean and expecting them to swim. Might not be a foolproof method….but it worked. She did a phenomenal job not every moment in the passenger seat as a parent goes so well.
When my father taught me to drive, he wasn’t so impressed by ‘the right of way.’ He loved saying, “when you’re in the defendant chair in a full body cast…the right of way won’t do you any good.” Thanks dad.
It doesn’t usually take too long to speak…but when someone else is behind the wheel you begin to notice the process in slow motion. First, I need to asses the road; then decide what needs to happen; articulate my thought (while very nervous); it needs to be heard and then processed by the driver… A lot can happen on street in all that time.
This is why, good, well intentioned parents might scream, “stooooooooooooop” from their gut instead of saying. “Since the card in front of you already has it’s brake lights on, now would be a good time to step on the brake.” Like my father always said, “when you’re in the defendants chair in a full body cast…..”
Last week I was teaching my son Mendel. We were in the middle of intersection in downtown Flushing. I was trying to breathe. I was also trying to pretend that I was totally calm and fully trusted him. He was supposed to make a left turn. I told his to pull up halfway through the crossroad without turning the car. My father told me that if your car is angled and you get hit while preparing to make a left, you’ll go flying into oncoming traffic – so always keep the car the straight.
By the time the oncoming traffic thinned and the pedestrians crossed, the light had turned red with Mendel and I still in the intersection. “Just go through the light,” I stammered, “otherwise you’ll be blocking the intersection.”
He turned the car, listening dutifully as first born children tend to do. “What is the law if the light turns red while you’re in the intersection,” asked the analytical boy whose been in yeshiva for the last 8 years. I chose not to repeat the refrain about the full body casts and the defendants chair. “I’m not exactly sure but in this case you would have been blocking traffic and it wasn’t safe to back up so you needed to turn.”
“But what is the actual law,” my Talmudic son continued to ask. “It’s a judgement call,” I responded while looking out all windows making sure he’s not to close to any other cars on the road. In a moment of calm, I spoke the question into my phone.
Google said that in Flushing there is no exact rule and it depends on traffic conditions. “There must be a law,” Mendel continued, “and besides that’s just for Flushing.”
“Before you go into the intersection you need to just decide if you have enough time to make the turn. It’s not a rule….. and STOP there is a car coming,” I breathed out. “You’re doing great. It’s not your fault if your mother is a nervous wreck.
Indeed we made it home alive and my scholarly son went on the computer to look up the sources. He wanted to determine the actual law. As of this writing I do not believe he found a definitive answer. I think he needs to spend more time practicing the parallel park and less time deriving rules about ambiguous situations.
There are some things that cannot be computed they just need to be understood. My daughter took to being thrown on the parkway without any warning. There are different types of minds and different roles we each play.
In biblical times, when a Jew spoke inappropriately about another s/he would be stricken with Tzra’as a physical condition resembling leprosy. The person’s skin would break out in red splotches and they would become ritually impure. Upon recovery, the person would be examined and priest would need to declare they are ritually pure once again.
This weeks parsha details a fascinating aspect of the diagnosis and ritual status. One person (chocham/ expert) would inspect the stricken individual and completely different person (Kohen/ priest) would make the pure/impure determination. The data collection and the practical application are two completely different roles!
Indeed before a person can declare that another is “pure” or “impure” they must be steeped in love of fellow Jew like the Kohen (priest). It is not only insufficient to be a “expert in the field” is simply not the role of the expert to diagnose.
[This reminds me of a phrase I often hear attributed to the Lubavitcher Rebbe, doctors were ONLY granted the right to heal.]There is only so much that intellectual analysis can accomplish when you’re in the middle of the intersection.
L’chaim & Good shabbos
