A Jewish man in prison asked Rabbi Shalom Ber Lipskar a”h of Bal Harbor, Florida, to help his wife. Behind on three months of rent, the woman had fallen on very hard times. Her kids were reduced to eating scraps from the dumpster behind the pizza store.
“Get me the name of your landlord, we’re going to send a check for your” Rabbi Lipskar told her over the phone, “I want him to know that there’s somebody out there that’s looking out for you..”
The woman had more to say; her distress had peaked as she watched her kids eating scraps of food. Having no income, one night she descended to a level far beneath her dignity. She told Rabbi Lipsker that indeed she earned cash that evening, but she “felt like she was going to die,” completely disgusted and would not use the money. She contemplated taking her life but could not leave her children alone.
“I gave her a ruling” Rabbi Lipskar said, “right on the spot. According to law, you’re not guilty for what you did. It was you in a state of insanity and people who are insane are not guilty… It doesn’t count, you’ve got a clean slate.”
Perhaps Rabbi Lipskar took his cue from the commandment given to Moshe in this week’s parsha – a directive so meaningful that it names the the entire portion.
Emor — “speak” to the priests, G-d says to Moshe. What kind of speech is G-d commanding?
Not only is the scholar warned to stay away from gossip and slander, he is indeed required to speak words of praise. You can’t fool the One Above with platitudes and insincerity. Speak of a person’s praise – see the goodness in each person. Speak their praise into being – bring out the best.
And if the person has fallen so low – if she sold her dignity for a slice of bread – recognize that the Giver of all Givers only placed her in a situation she had the strength to overcome. When you look at her, see the G-d given strength evidenced by greatness of the fall – don’t get stuck on the descent itself.
The good will overpower your perspective and refraining from gossip and slander will come naturally.
Many years later, with a fully established congregation, Rabbi Lipskar concluded a class attended by 200 people. Many came to speak with the Rabbi afterwards. One woman walked over and simply said, “thank you”.
It took him a while to place to voice of the woman he had never seen in person. He hadn’t needed to look at her face to see the good.
Rabbi Lipskar passed away on Shabbat, 5 Iyar (May 3 2025), at the age of 78.
