It was just after 10am and alternate side of the street parking would begin at 10:30m. Savta lent my daughter a car for a week and yes it was parked on the wrong side this Friday morning…. She had 20 minutes before she’d get a ticket. I decided to wake her up.
“I can’t move the car in 10 minutes”
“Why not?”
“I’m sleeping”
“So, do you want to get a ticket?”
I could have moved the car…. But I didn’t make that offer. I can’t tell you what I would have done at 10:29am because by 10:17am I heard footsteps and keys jingling…..
It’s a lot easier instructing Zalmy (10) to was his hands, close the door all way or make a brocha before he eats. He’s a little kid and the do and don’t are pretty straight forward.
Educating a child is interesting – it’s not actually a mitzvah (from the Torah) itself it’s kind of like a pre-req. In order for the person to be able to pray as an adult, s/he must learn to read the from siddur as a child. I order Zalmy his own lulav and Esrog set each year, so he can practice the mitzvah. This part is (relatively) easy.
There is this grey middle area where the young (stress on YOUNG) adult needs to move the car. It’s hard to know how to navigate – no pun intended. Do I educate with consequences (a ticket)? Do I reign in all my compassion and it move it for her? Is a text to a sleeping girl enough or should I knock on her door? It’s hard to know and I’m not sure there is one good answer.
The month of Elul is compared to the idea of “chinuch” education. It’s a foundational time without much direct structure. Every person is different and each person needs their own formula.
In Elul we have a custom to hear the shofar every day – but we’re not commanded any specific set of shofar blasts or time of day. There are not mitzvos uniquely associated with the moth of Elul and it’s not considered a holiday.
This is the month where we’re meant to connect and affirm our relationship with The King of Kings but there is very little guidance on exactly how to get that done.
Chassidus teaches us that the The King is in the field and greet His subjects with a smiling face, at this time of the year. This means that the One Above is accessible, present and interested in us in the regular mundane areas of our life. Before Rosh Hashana when we “Crown” The King, we have this special month to engage and “hang out” on a regular weekday with the Being of All Beings.
The month of Elul is kind of like taking a vacation with Gd – letting your hair down and having some easy and relaxed time together. Some people will go fishing, others will go shopping and some just want to sleep in for a week. A real vacation doesn’t need structure and it will look different for each person. The point is that freer, and looser time is crucial for a developing relationship – the details will look different for everyone.
Elul is here for the taking. The Creator of All Creators is available and you can come as you are. No standards to meet or rules to conform to. It’s a lot different that alternate Side of the parking.
You need to move the car by 10:30am – but the process of accepting and conforming to that fact will look different for different people.
L’chaim
Tzipah
