When I was expecting Zalmy

The unplanned theme of my day was the tension between nature and that which is beyond nature. IMG_20150512_141024 There are the regular standard routines and the totally unexpected out of this world methods.

“Sometimes, the blessing has to come from beyond nature,” my husband’s Rabbi and teacher said to us last summer.  I was just at the beginning of my pregnancy with our baby Zalmy and complications were great.  To be honest, it did not seem like the pregnancy had a chance within nature.  The prognosis had been delivered the morning of our annual Chabad on Campus Convention.

The only chance I had was an outright miracle.  And so I joined the convention with a headache a heart full of hope.  I had my birthday during the convention and received many blessing from many holy Chabad rebbetzins.  A few days later a necessary procedure that had been deemed impossible was performed.  Tonight, Thank G-d, I will most likely lose much sleep while nursing a baby in the wee hours.  Zalmy was a miracle.

I went to sleep last night thinking about my miraculous pregnancy, as plans for the summer’s upcoming convention are once again under way.  This morning I sat down with Sarah Blank for our weekly Torah learning.  In this week’s parsha the Jewish people are commanded to work their fields for six years and then leave the land to rest on the seventh year.  The seventh year of fallow land was a real testament of faith – the produce that grew was supernatural.  The six working years demonstrated cause and effect – the seventh was a year of faith.

The six years are nature as we know and understand it.  Hard work, breaking a sweat, the toil of our hands.  The seventh year is hard to understand – how could I realistically expect to eat when I don’t work my fields, when I don’t plant.  How can I reap if I don’t sow?

I can’t exactly answer any of those questions.  I can say that I have a baby that was not expected according to medicine alone.  Furthermore the six years of work are intrinsically connected to the Seventh year of rest.  The six years utilize resources, make good things grow from the land and bring about the greatest potential.  The Seventh year goes beyond anything that we can do on our own and submits to a power much greater than the self.  But the cycle continues and spiritual high from the seventh year subsequently infuses the next set of working years with holiness and faith.

Sometimes after we do everything within our power, the only option left is to step back and allow ourselves to connect to that which beyond nature.  L’chaim and good shabbos